Name Changing for Marriage
I believe that much of the sexism in our society comes from subtle sources. Things that you wouldn't expect to make any difference sometimes can have a enormous effect. Things like the system that use to determine how we change our names when we get married for example, is like a unconscious and constant reminder of how we think about the opposite sex.
To some people, carrying on the family name is the most important thing in the world. To those people obviously, male children are obviously more important than female children. I believe that the idea of the male children carrying the seed of the next generation, probably at least partially comes from something as simple as the name changing system.
While it may not have as strong of an effect as I believe that it does, it still warrants changing. I have a new system that I think you should consider. I intend to use it if and when I get married. It goes like this. The two people getting married change there middle name to be the hyphenated sum of their two middle names. To honor you new spouse, you always put your spouses name first and your own name goes last, in your new middle name. For example if John Smith and Marry Webster were to get married, John's middle name would be Webster-Smith, and Mary's middle name would be Smith-Webster. If John and Marry had kids, the females middle names would be same as their mother's and the males would be same as their father's.
The last name is something that the newly weds must make up new. The idea is a new family, gets a new name. It is considered improper to think up possible names before you get married. This is something that the new couple does together. It is like their first real decision together. As another example, let's say that Albert Webster-Smith Alazeen (Does this tell you what John and Mary chose for a last name, it was Alazeen) gets married to Joanne Johanus-Dion Ford. The new last name that they choose is Moenan. Joanne's name becomes Joanne Alazeen-Ford Moenan, and Albert's new name is Albert Ford-Alazeen Moenan.
Joanne would introduce her self as Joanne Moenan, and probably sign her checks as Joanne AF Moenan, or maybe J. AF Moenan, or just Joanne Moenan. Albert would introduce himself as Albert Moenan, probably sign his checks as A. Moenan or Albert FA Moenan or A. FA Moenan. Their kids are Diane Alazeen-Ford Moenan, Kenny Ford-Alazeen Moenan, Robert Ford-Alazeen Moenan and Amy Alazeen-Ford Moenan.
They also have two adopted kids, one of them is Erin Moenan (of unknown parents) and the other is Joe Webster-Smith-Alazeen Moenan (Albert's youngest brother) The Moenan's are kind of purest, they believe that a child's name should always reflect the child's genetic makeup. They believe that it helps when the child gets older and finds a spouse, that the child won't end up marrying a brother or sister. Some people believe that it cause's problems in school if other kids know that they are adopted, so they don't use a different system for the adopted kids.